The Bullpen Season 2 Episode 9: Kurt's Favors

CAST
Kurt: long-term reliever-turned starting pitcher
Lorenzo: middle-relief pitcher
Jason: bullpen coach
Robert: 8th inning/setup pitcher
Bryan: closer
Eli: left-handed specialist
Manny: Team coach
Harry: "Hot dog guy"

Jason: Kurt, you did awesome out there!
Kurt: Yeah, I didn't think I'd be able to pitch a full game but I did.
Jason: They should've made you a starter earlier.
Robert: So now that you actually have value on this team, can you do us all a favor?
Kurt: Yeah, what?
Robert: No just hypothetically, can you do us all a favor?
Kurt: I said yeah.
Eli: Get us a new bullpen.
Kurt: I can't do that!
Eli: You said you can do us all a favor.
Kurt: Something realistic of course! And I'm not exactly sure either.
Lorenzo: I'll settle for one of those bullpens where they warm up on the field.
Kurt: That's not a bullpen.
Lorenzo: And I'll settle for that. Just as long as we can bring our bench with us.
Kurt: That's not happening.
Bryan: How about this: you go up to that manager and tell him the bullpen needs a snack bar.
Kurt: I think that's actually possible.
Jason: So what should we ask for? We all know Lorenzo wants multiple colors of cotton candy.
Lorenzo: Nah, I'm over cotton candy.
Jason: We all know you're not. So cotton candy, some chocolate-based things, popcorn, whatever else they sell here.
Kurt: Hot dogs?
Jason: Do they sell those here?
Kurt: Obviously.
Jason: Let's hire our own hot dog guy. 
Lorenzo: And get chicken wings too!
Kurt: I think this is something you should take up with management. I'm still the new guy.
Jason: Fine. [Long pause]
Eli: Are you going to call him?
Jason: I'll just wait for tomorrow's game when they make a call to the bullpen.
Eli: They're not going to do that.
Kurt: Actually they did say I might go in for an inning or two.
Jason: Perfect!
[One day goes by, it is now the 7th inning of the next game. The phone rings.]
Lorenzo: Bullpen, Lorenzo speaking!
Manny: Get Kurt warming up.
Lorenzo: Can we get a snack bar?
Manny: Whatever.
Lorenzo: And a hot dog guy?
Manny: If it keeps you quiet. [Hangs up.]
Lorenzo: We're getting a snack bar everyone!
Jason: When?
Lorenzo: Don't know.
[Another day goes by. The players walk into the bullpen together in the 5th inning of the following game, figuring they won't be needed.]
Bryan: Look, our snack bar!
Harry: Hey I'm Harry, who wants a hot dog?
Lorenzo: We have a hot dog guy too!
Harry: Yeah, I just get laid off from my job at a restaurant so I've got nothing better to do.
Lorenzo: Give me a hot dog. [Lorenzo gets a hot dog and quickly eats it.] This is amazing! You need to work at a restaurant again!
Harry: Right?
Lorenzo: I'm thinking of starting one up soon. We were just gonna do vanilla ice cream but we can expand to hot dogs. And hot dog ice cream too!
Bryan: Hot dog ice cream sounds disgusting.
Lorenzo: It's actually really good.
Robert: You've had it?
Lorenzo: Who hasn't?
Robert: Me, for one.
Bryan: Make that two.
Eli: Three.
Jason: Five.
Kurt: Five. Jason, you're four.
Harry: Six. 
Bryan: Maybe the games will go by quicker now that we have our own snack bar. 
Kurt: Look everyone, we're on that big screen in the outfield again.
Harry: Is that why you're crowd's laughing?
Lorenzo: Probably. We're used to it by now. So is the cotton candy good here?
Kurt: I'm gonna start warming up in case I go in the game again today.
Jason: If you insist.
Kurt: Does anyone even care about my career advancement?
Jason: Of course! Look how far it's gotten us!
Lorenzo: I got us the snack bar.
Jason: Yeah but they're doing anything to try to keep Kurt content. 
Kurt: I could get used to this.